i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
