Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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