p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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