As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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