The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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