I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
In America we eat man semen.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
