turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Randomize