My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
