why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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