You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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