dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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