I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
