this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
we're making bets on your personal life
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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