her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
