i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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