I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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