I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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