Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
