mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
