Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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