Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
