i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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