How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
