Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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