The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
