I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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