girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
