why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass