I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.