Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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