Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
