Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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