K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
