Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
