i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
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The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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