Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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