Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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