I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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