Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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