Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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