i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Randomize
