Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
