Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize