upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Houston, we have a blender
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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