she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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