The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
