yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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