It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
