Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
