i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
