you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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