yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
