PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
