Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
