garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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