Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
