There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
