3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
