either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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