We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
