I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
