What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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