She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
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